I am Sorry

I have been lying to myself
And for that I am sorry.
I’ve been absorbed in the matters of mind
Lost in that confusion
Catering to that insanity.
 
I’ve forgotten who I am
And for that I am sorry.
I’ve been lost to fear and self absorption
Trying to answer
The unending riddles of the past.
 
I’ve forgotten who You are
And for that I am sorry.
The inspiration gave way to perspiration
An effort wasted 
Trying to pull water from a desert stone.
 
I can’t go back in time
And for that I am sorry.
I would open my heart and close my eyes
To see everything
Without the need for translation or hyperbole.
 
If you walk away now
I am sorry.
I could not see, I could not breathe
Without thinking, without wanting to know
Now I know nothing at all.
 
So now I play with a thread, a stitch in time
And remain sorry.
For destroying what could have been
With what never was
Anything more than a figment of my imagination.
 
Sadness envelopes this regretful soul
As I am sorry.
I see so clearly as the fog lifts
Gone in the mist
My eyes close to the tears that are born.
 
There will be more words
For that I am sorry.
I am love, that beautiful man has not been lost
Or consumed by the onslaught
As he looks for the Tigress who has all be left this place.
 
He now feels he has failed
Even in being sorry.
He once felt great, and now feels like a nothing again
It’s just a feeling
That will pass as the Sun escapes these torrid clouds.
 
How, he wonders, has he evaporated?
He knows he is believing his thoughts yet again.
There are no words that come his way
There are no mentions of love to light his way
Only an empty glass that seems to have no bottom.
 
I am sorry.
Lost in such lonely melancholy
For taking away those moments
Losing my grounding, forgetting my Self.
I now remember.
 
The slide begins back to Nothingness
To a place where sorry cannot survive
To Love once again
To within as I struggle with the ideas outside of that place
Where I am sorry.
 
 
(Written on 6/10/12)
 
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