Where am I?

Where am I?
 
I fumble at night like a drunkard,
Slicing my fingers on this broken glass,
I search to find a meaning in mind,
And return my head up my ass.
 
Am I to believe I am worthy?
Or is this gutter the place I belong?
I struggle to knee as I desire to see,
Exactly what I’d done wrong.
 
The voices begin their laughter,
The demons let out their cheer,
The rage in my mind leaves nothing behind,
As it sings the song I’ve held dear.
 
I once stood all flayed open,
Believing there’s nothing to hide,
In the blink of my eyes I saw the disguise,
And now I kneel with nothing inside.
 
In this darkest of darkness I wander,
Yet there is but one glimmer of Light,
I focus intensely on what I can see,
An end to this Loneliest Night.
 
Love, sweet love,
Threatening the past’s own sorrow,
I feel you tonight as I search out the light,
But what will come of my eyesight tomorrow?
 
I can hear a voice in the distance,
Drowning out the demons’ devices,
“Nothing is real, that is the deal,”
I’m creating each and every new crisis.
 
If turn to all that’s without,
And lean on the crutch of my past,
Doomed to repeat the broken heart at my feet,
It certainly won’t be the last.
 
If I turn to all that’s within,
And see this moment brand new,
I’ll be jumping for joy for what fear can’t destroy,
And hopefully be landing with you.
 
I fall off the ledge into darkness,
Grasping for one thread of light,
It takes two to dance to the song of romance,
But the song I’ll be singing tonight.
 
So if by chance I land near you,
And you could open your arms to this Heart,
I’ll never believe that you meant to deceive,
When you decided to break it apart.
 
For now I’ll settle for stillness,
And the strength my life has since taught,
I’ll worship the ground while looking around,
In seeking that which has sought.
 
 
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