Reincarnation is Real, and I Have Proof (or “The Butterfly”)

I occurred to me that I have reincarnated.  Many times as a matter of fact.  I can vouch for reincarnation as a definite, and can truly dare anyone to prove me wrong about my complete belief in reincarnation.  Yes, I dare you!

Let’s look at the most common definition of the word “reincarnation”:

Definition of REINCARNATION (Source:

a : the action of reincarnating : the state of being reincarnated
b : rebirth in new bodies or forms of life; especially : a rebirth of a soul in a new human body
: a fresh embodiment (b : to make concrete and perceptible)

Most of us want to focus on the “rebirth of a soul in a new human body” portion of the definition.  I tend to believe in that as well, but since I can’t prove it beyond some personal experiences I have had I don’t tend to make it part of my normal discussions with people.  What I’d like to focus on here is the “fresh embodiment” aspect of reincarnation.

I can prove that I have reincarnated many times if I use that definition.  That proof is called “life experience” and is something we can easily see if simply willing to take some time to review our life experience and see the magnificent manifestations of reincarnation we have undergone.  I’ve compiled a list of “forms” I have seen in my review, and would love to share them here with you now.

The Sapling

Yes, I was a Sapling, a baby.  Now, while most of us tend to think we were nurtured by our parents and grew from them, I suggest that we were nurtured by the Universe that manifested Itself as our parents and/or caregivers.  Our Soul had an intention when it conceived human form (uh oh, there I go heading into the unproveable) and the Universe provided the “soil for the soul” which we call our culture, our archetypes, our parents and/or our condition.  Some of us were born into very fertile soil, others not so much.  Still, we were born, and we were like a Sapling struggling for life.

In my experience, since we provide the creative force behind our present moment, we also provided the creative force behind which soil we were born into.  The difference is that one was chosen by our Soul and the other created by our Minds.

The Dove

I believe I was like a dove when I was a young boy.  I loved peace, and loved people.  I had a unique compassion and sensitivity as well as a curiosity about all things.  I loved life, loved living and searched for joy wherever I could find it.  I explored, I challenged, and I got into more trouble than I care to remember.  I loved to make people laugh and feel good about themselves.

So, the Sapling was reincarnated into a Dove.  I no longer was completely helpless, yet I was still dependent (as we all are) on my Universe for most things.  Yet, my Mind was forming and being formed.  I was experiencing things that would alter my perceptions, change my attitudes, and influence my path.

I faced challenging conditions during this part of my life.  I won’t get into too many details right now, but lets just say that it was time for another reincarnation as my life, and my environment, took yet another turn.

The Chameleon

When I was about 8 years of age, my mother remarried and we moved.  I went from a neighborhood full of kids (and a ton of friends) to a farmhouse on a busy road with few kids and few opportunities for friendship.  While I made one of the best friends I have ever had during this time, I felt lonely and completely shell shocked.  Add to that the fact that I began experiencing physical and mental abuse at about this time, well you can see the reincarnation experience.

Part of this abusive home life included isolation.  I was hardly allowed to play with my new friends (this went on for years) and they were belittled both when present and in private.  No one was “good enough” for me to be around, and I was not “good enough” to be around anyone.  This isolation and hardship created in me an alter-ego, one that became his surroundings in order to survive the experience.  Today, I call that alter-ego the “Chameleon” since he would change his colors to whatever would help him get through the moment.

I began to be unsure of who I was.  I felt no love at home and no companionship outside of it. In this phase, you have no choice but to lose sight of who you are because you are never your true self.  You are trying, failing, and recreating who you are just to get some feeling of security.  When you do this, as I was later to find out, all you do is create conditions by which insecurity and earth-shattering destruction is all but certain.

At some point, I’d say around the age of 15 or so, the Chameleon began getting tired of getting beaten and teased.  It was time for me to reincarnate yet again.

The Ass

In stark contrast to the Dove I was as a young boy, the Ass was born as my Mind began to take ownership of my existence.  I can remember the first time I stood up to my abuser.  I had a bit of blood trickling from the corner of my mouth, and I simply said “hit me again, bitch, and don’t stop until you can’t swing your arms anymore.”  It was a liberating thing, and unfortunately my Mind associated reactive violence with liberation from fear.  It began my journey as the Ass.

I began to work out hard in earnest.  I would push my body beyond its limits.  I figured that if I could torture my body (and my mind) beyond their limits, no one else would be able to come close.  I would deprive myself of food for days while exercising into a frenzy.  I began to lose weight and gain muscle quickly despite my fasting.  I was always a strong kid, but I began to not only get stronger, but to realize my own strength.  I would goad my abuser into attacking me just so I could prove to myself that I could take physical pain.  I began to want to push my pain tolerance to its limits and beyond.  I would do sit ups until I vomited, often getting right up from chucking to punch myself in the gut until I would vomit for good measure.  Whatever I did to myself I did to the extreme.

Still, I did not act out in violence to others until I was about 19.  I was still the Ass, but the Ass was growing.  I was a pacifist kid for the most part; I never wanted anyone to feel the physical or mental anguish I was experiencing.  That changed in my 20’s.

My first sexual experience was not a good one.  I was about 10 days shy of my 14th birthday, and I was taken advantage of by an 18 year old woman.  It took me decades to realize that this was abusive, and I learned it by taking a look at my relationships and how I treated women in them.  For nearly a year I was taught how dirty sex was in ways I don’t care to remember.  As my mind picked up on the fact that sexual gratification was tantamount to some kind of “happiness” (my mind, at that level, did not know what true happiness was), it began to seek it out everywhere.  I was hooked, and most of my relationships in my later teens and 20’s were destroyed by this understanding of what “happiness” was.  Women were not to be cherished for anything other than the gratification they could provide me.

Yes, that is an Ass.

I had no trust in people at this point, and didn’t want them to trust me either.  I played my part well, and played it continuously until the birth of my first daughter in 1994.  That moment changed my life (I call it my “first taste of Nirvana”) because I actually felt love for another human being.  I walked into that hospital an Ass, and left it truly wanting to change.

Another reincarnation was on its way.

The Caterpillar

On that day in April, 1994, my Soul left my body for a bit.  I looked at this little girl looking back at me and felt something completely foreign.  Imagine feeling so cold that your numb and never realize it until suddenly you sit near a roaring fire.  It’s mind-bending to say the least.

Here I was, a tough guy street fighter (and boxer) who trusted no one never shed a tear for anything or anyone, sitting in a rest room at the hospital bawling my eyes out.  My head hurt, my eyes were closed with only the vision of my little girl burned into them.  I was on my knees, not the place you really want to be in a hospital restroom, just letting go of the emotion of the moment.  I sobbed for nearly an hour, and had absolutely nothing left when I was finished.  I just wanted to see my daughter.

The Ass was letting go, reincarnating as the Caterpillar.  I wasn’t free from my torment, but I was beginning to saw away at the chains.  I knew my relationship with her mother was over at that moment.  I knew my life was going to change.  I knew pain and torment was on its way.  Somehow, though, I knew it was going to be worth it.  If not for me, at least for the little girl who was not going to have an asshole freak for a father.

The Mind, as I was going to find out in this experience, is horribly opposed to change.  It finds safety and security in the present condition, no matter how dangerous or painful that present condition is.  It took decades for me to break free.  In that period I got divorced from what was a horrible and self-defeating relationship (in some respects I had married my own mother).  I lost time with my daughter.  I lost myself and my security.  I had not lost my strength though, and in some respects I was very happy during this period of time.  Sure, I engaged in self-destructive behaviors  but I began to see those behaviors for what they were. I was breaking free.

This long process of being the Caterpillar was exactly that: long.  While seeing my behaviors for what they were, I also began to see just how deeply ingrained in me they had become.  There were times when I firmly believed that they would never end, and that I was doomed to living them.

Contrary to a vow I had made, I began a long-term relationship during this time.  This relationship was, unfortunately, doomed because it began during my time as a Caterpillar (and perhaps hers as well).  Two beautiful children and 12 years later it was very painfully over.  It was, however, necessary for me to be launched into the next phase.

There is a reason that the Caterpillar stage is known scientifically as the “feeding stage”.  I was feeding on every experience, every perspective, and every moment whether mindful or mindless in that moment.  Yet, at the end of this tumultuous time I had moved on to the next reincarnation my Soul desired to experience.

The Pupa

The interesting part of the Pupa stage of a butterfly’s metamorphosis is that it is not a universal experience.  The time of this “transition stage” varies greatly.  I think it is appropriate to suggest that I am in this stage, and that I have reincarnated again into a Pupa hanging from the Tree of Knowledge.  I haven’t quite learned to let go of this tree so that knowledge may become wisdom, but I have let go enough to begin to see the potential (and practice it a bit).

I often wonder if it is at this stage that a Caterpillar experiences being a Butterfly without actually being one.  There is no safety at this stage, but the Caterpillar must learn to let go so that the wings It has created can allow it to fly.  It must be able to know this without experiencing it.  It must learn to trust, to accept, and to recognize its own beauty through what it inspires in others.  It does not break through its cocoon until this has been accomplished, and it does not experience true flight until it is ready.

The Caterpillar has set Its intention, and has planted to seed that will grow.  No one could mistake a Butterfly for a Caterpillar (or vice versa) but the Butterfly does not exist without the Caterpillar.  It had to have each and every experience, each and every lesson and each and every tribulation in order to find Itself.

I feel this way.  I appreciate the “story” of my life for what it has taught me even if I see life through a different set of eyes.  I can release, let go, experience and, most importantly to me, be mySelf.  I can love, I can trust, I can appreciate others in a way never before possible. I can be alone, or in a crowd.  I can be still or active, happy or sad, without judgement.  I seek what makes me happy knowing full well that joy will follow me.  I have seen that when my vibrations are high, others around me are happier.  I can spread joy.  I can be non-violent (yes, I love being non-violent).  I can be a Lover and be Loved with equal abandon and energy.  I love being loved, and I love loving.

How long I will be in this stage is anyone’s guess.  Yet, I am fine being here until I am ready.  I can feel the Butterfly within me.  I can feel my wings spreading and taking flight.  I can feel the beauty that is coming because the beauty is here within me.  It is coming, and I am overjoyed.

The Butterfly stage is known scientifically as the “reproductive stage”.  For me, it is a chance to reproduce Happiness and Joy and to help others in any capacity I can.  I see what I want once I break free from the cocoon romantically, spiritually and professionally.  I have stated my intentions romantically (see “Ode to the Lover“) and spiritually (each and every moment) and am beginning to formulate my professional plan which is becoming very clear to me.  I can reproduce the feelings that raise me up over and over again if I simply make the choice to do so.

I can plant whatever seeds I want, and it is up to me to plant the ones I want to be.

What Does This Mean?

For me, this review (and the inspiration behind it) has taught me to not be too attached to the past.  I doubt a Butterfly is attached to its past, it flutters around in the present moment loving life.  Beyond that, I can find little meaning behind any of this.  Humans Being have a unique ability (or disability depending on your current point of view), we seek an understanding of our place, time and purpose in this life.  So, our pasts can be a burden if we choose to see them that way, or it can be a springboard to flight and purpose.

I hope you take some time to engage in this exercise, and that it helps you in any way it can.  It has helped me in a tremendous way as I stand on the verge of great change with my arms and heart wide open.

I see a tremendous amount of hope in the Butterfly, both for reasons stated and for reasons deeply personal to me.  It represents Hope, Courage and Experience.  It also represents the power of Love.  I patiently await its arrival.



One thought on “Reincarnation is Real, and I Have Proof (or “The Butterfly”)

  1. Anirudh Kumar Satsangi says:


    Anirudh Kumar Satsangi

    According to Dr. Granville Dharmawardena of Colombo University reincarnation may be defined as the re-embodiment of an immaterial part of a person after a short or a long interval after death, in a new body whence it proceeds to lead a new life in the new body more or less unconscious of its past existences, but containing within itself the “essence” of the results of its past lives, which experience goes to make up its new character or personality.
    In the seventeenth century Rene Descartes divided everything in the universe into two realms as “Res Extensa” (matter) and “Res Cogitans” (mind). Gathering knowledge within the realm of Res Extensa was called Science and the phenomenon of reincarnation got pushed into the other realm Res Cogitans which was not considered suitable for scientific probing. Science developed in the framework of Res Estensa is known as “Classical Science”. Classical science had tremendous material achievements because it helped all round growth of technology which brought about prosperity to mankind. The air of frame work of Classical Science was blown out by Henry Becquerel in 1896 by the discovery of Radioactivity. The discovery of Theory of Relativity by Albert Einstein in early 20th Century gave it further blow. The advent of Quantum Theory and the Uncertainty Principle did the rest. It is significant to note that Einstein’s discovery fall entirely within the frame work of Res Cogitans as it did not involve any experiments or measurements. Gravitation Force Theory of Newton is also an example of such observation and intuition work involving no experiments and measurements.
    Modern Science enhanced man’s knowledge surpassing the restrictions imposed by the five senses and took us to hidden areas of nature and profound changes had been introduced in procedures of science. Our ability to understand everything by way of perceptible mental pictures is reduced and it became necessary to imagine models with components which behaved in ways that had no counterparts at all in the world familiar to us. In most cases mechanisms involved in these models not only are imperceptible but also consist of elements that operate in ways never known in the world that we actually experience through sensory inputs.
    Modern science tied up the two realms, Res Extensa and Res Cogitans and made us to understand that they are not independent and cannot be completely studied independently. Within the establishment of modern science some of the aspects of nature that did not strictly adhere to the realm of Res Extensa, which were therefore earlier condemned as unbecoming of scientists to talk about have become respectable. Reincarnation falls into this category
    Reincarnation is a very old belief and a large fraction of the world population believes it. For example Rene Descartes’ statement “What I have said is sufficient to show clearly enough that the extinction of the mind does not follow from the corruption of the body and also to give men the hope of another life after death” in 1641 confirms his belief in reincarnation. About 20 percent of those in the Western World whose religions shun reincarnation nevertheless believe it. According to opinion polls this percentage is rising.
    Lisa Miller, Religion Editor of Newsweek says that Americans are becoming more Hindus. According to 2008 Harris Poll 24% of Americans say they believe in reincarnation
    Steven J Rosen writes in The Reincarnation Controversy, Uncovering the Truth in World Religions (New Age Books) that belief in reincarnation allows us to see ourselves as architects of our own future. Rosen raises certain queries,‘ what is it that reincarnates from one body to another? Is it the soul? the mind? the intellect? To understand this we should suggest answer to these questions. We all know that there are four fundamental forces in the universe viz., gravitation force, electromagnetic force, weak nuclear force and strong nuclear force. I have written a paper entitled ‘Gravitation Force is the Ultimate Creator’ and presented it at the 1st International Conference on Revival of Traditional Yoga held in Lonavla Yoga Institute, Lonavla in January 2006. In this paper I have defined soul (individual consciousness), mind and body. According to this every point of action of Gravitational Force Field is individual consciousness or soul, electromagnetic force as the force of mind and weak and strong nuclear force as the gross material force which constitute physical frame of body.
    Consciousness is All Intelligent and pervades everywhere. Although all other remaining three forces are also intelligent but they are subordinate to Gravitational Force. THIS DESCRIPTION WILL HELP TO UNDERSTAND ‘WHAT IS IT THAT REINCARNATES FROM ONE BODY TO ANOTHER.
    According to Buddhism this is not the supreme atman or soul that ties one life to another, instead it talks about past lives as evolvement of consciousness, emergence of a new personality from the same stream of consciousness.
    Reincarnation is not an exclusively Eastern precept. It is contained in some form in almost every major religion and mystical philosophy. Research indicates that it was an accepted doctrine, at least in some quarters, at the time of Christ, and is still an integral part of some sects of the Jewish tradition. The Bible contain no condemnation of the principle of reincarnation, and in fact, when Christ was asked when Elijah would return, he answered that Elijah had returned, referring to John the Baptist.
    Sakina Yusuf Khan writes in an article A Night Of Forgiveness published in The Speaking Tree: “It (Shab-e-Barat) is also a festival associated with the dead. It is believed that the souls of the dead are set free on this night to visit their relatives.” What this indicates? This is a belief in reincarnation, of course in subtle body.
    Unaccomplished activities of past lives are also one of the causes for reincarnation. Some of us reincarnate to complete the unfinished tasks of previous birth. The is evident from my own story of reincarnation:
    “My most Revered Guru of my previous life His Holiness Maharaj Sahab, 3rd Spiritual Head of Radhasoami Faith had revealed this secret to me during trance like state of mine. This was sort of REVELATION.
    HE told me, “Tum Sarkar Sahab Ho” (You are Sarkar Sahab). Sarkar Sahab was one of the most beloved disciple of His Holiness Maharj Sahab. Sarkar Sahab later on became Fourth of Spiritual Head Radhasoami Faith.
    Since I don’t have any direct realization of it so I can not claim the extent of its correctness. But it seems to be correct. During my previous birth I wanted to sing the song of ‘Infinite’ (Agam Geet yeh gawan chahoon tumhri mauj nihara, mauj hoi to satguru soami karoon supanth vichara) but I could not do so then since I had to leave the mortal frame at a very early age. But through the unbounded Grace and Mercy of my most Revered Guru that desire of my past birth is being fulfilled now.”
    I am one the chief expounder and supporter of Gravitation Force Theory of God. This is most scientific and secular theory of God. This is the Theory of Universal Religion. I have given Higher Theory of Everything. Sometimes back I posted this as comments to a blog on:
    ‘Fighting of the Cause of Allah by Governing a Smart Mathematics Based on Islamic Teology’
    By Rohedi of Rohedi Laboratories, Indonesia. Rohedi termed my higher theory of everything more wonderful than which has been developed by Stephen Hawking. Some details are quoted below:
    @anirudh kumar satsangi
    Congratulation you have develop the higher theory of everything more wonderful than which has been developed by Stephen Hawking. Hopefully your some views for being considered for Unified Field Theory are recognized by International Science Community, hence I soon read the fundamental aspect proposed by you.
    I have posted my comments to the Blog of Syed K. Mirza on Evolutionary Science vs. Creation Theory, and Intellectual Hypocrisy. Syed Mirza seems to be a very liberal muslim. He responded to my comments as mentioned below.
    “Many thanks for your very high thought explanations of God.
    You said:
    “Hence it can be assumed that the Current of Chaitanya (Consciousness) and Gravitational Wave are the two names of the same Supreme Essence (Seed) which has brought forth the entire creation. Hence it can be assumed that the source of current of consciousness and gravitational wave is the same i.e. God or ultimate creator.
    (i) Gravitation Force is the Ultimate Creator, Source of Gravitational Wave is God”
    Whatever you call it, God is no living God of any religion. Yes, when I call it “Mother Nature” is the God generated from all Natural forces and Gravitational force is the nucleus of all forces or we can presume that Gravitation is the ultimate guiding principle of this Mother Nature we call it non-living God unlike living personal God of religions. I can not believe any personal God would do so much misery created for its creation. Hence, only non-living natural God can explain everything in the Universe. When we think of any living personal God, things do not ad up!”
    I have also discovered the mathematical expression for emotional quotient (E.Q.) and for spiritual quotient (S.Q.).
    Austrian Scientist Rudolf Steiner says,
    “Just as an age was once ready to receive the Copernican theory of the universe, so is our age ready for the idea of reincarnation to be brought into the general consciousness of humanity”.

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