What I would have done to hear how funny I was,
Or about the things we have in common,
Or about the joy I brought to your life,
If only your mind had let you see it.
Oh what I would have done to have you appreciate the laughter
That I gave you when the moment allowed,
Or the love that I shared whenever I could,
How different could things have been if only…
What I would have done to have you accept the pleasure of my existence,
Or the strength of my outstretched hand,
Or the warmth my body could provide on nights such as this,
It is true I would have paid a hefty price.
So now I dance a lonely dance hoping that you will see,
Hoping that you will feel, hoping that you will know who I am,
And hoping that it is enough to make a difference,
And that you care to see what’s real beyond what’s a figment of our imagination.
What I would have done to feel “enough” for you,
How the voices would have silenced, how the visions would have faded!
I could not believe you would have kept searching for what you had already found,
I could not believe you would have desire outside of what was keeping you satisfied.
What I would have done to feel your pride in me,
Or your Angel’s arms draw me into Heaven’s sweet repose,
I would have never left your side or hid in a cave,
But would have carried and been carried in each moment’s eternity.
But now I dance a forced and lonely dance,
Wishing I could change what cannot be altered, hearing how others are what I wish I could be.
I spin and move to the song of a lonely drum,
Knowing this is how it’s been but hoping it will change.