I have heard the sweet whispers mellow in my ear. She calms me, softens me, smooths me out for the time Being. I can feel Her presence surround me, catering to my whims and desires while allowing in me that higher vision of my Self. I can nearly touch Her as I reach for Her but there is no form for me to grasp. I let go and let God, and She softly caresses my soul and surrounds me with light.
I beg of Her to reveal Herself to me and instantly I know Her reply. She already has; She has never hidden from me. She was there the moment I was born and in the moments before I ate of the apple; nurturing, caring, providing for all I need. I have put veils between us, cautiously constructing walls to climb and layers to peel. I have hidden Her from view with the tears of attachment and the betrayal of that attachment from what is. I have carefully constructed flags and idols to hide Her from view. I have heard Her speak and dismissed it as the wind; I have heard Her sing and dismissed it as my imagination. Yet still She remained with me through the blurred vision of eyes gone to suffering, wiping away the blindness from my eyes. She was there to wipe the dust from my face as I ran from what I was toward what I wanted to be. She was there to comfort as my dreams stole attention away from Her and there when the dreams became nightmares in their failure. Through the mud, snow and sunshine we have walked together, a journey that was to take me to what is and what I am. Never judging me She was just there, comforting, singing, whispering in the hopes that I would see and hear while never wishing me ill in my failure.
Now I sit in stillness, Her glow tempting me for the attempt at grasping, my focus resolved in allowing this to be without interfering. I hear Her sweet whispers in my ear, “My Son, you will arrive one day. This moment when you are Love and no thing else shall be your eternity.” I let Her go and in the process become one with All That Is. In focusing just on Her I lose sight of what Is, and in the letting go of Her I can see all that She is not. It all blurs into One, and for that moment I can feel Her through it all. I am Love, I am this moment, I am…
I give thanks to those moments of suffering that have given me this moment just as I equally give thanks to those moments of joy that allow suffering to be. The veils and obstacles I have built in my life through the egoic possession of my mind to what I want and what I think I am. I need not hold on to “dreams” or visions of what I seek to be; rather I can let them go and let God. I need not pass judgment on others based on what I know or think them to be. I simply am as they are. In equal parts I can let go of who I think they are as I let go of who I think I am.
The Tao that can be expressed is not the eternal Tao; The name that can be defined is not the unchanging name.
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