The Idea of Loving Relationships We All Hate to Have

It can be such a weird reality sometimes.  I have to say that I find inspiration in some of the most unusual places and have come to realize that I just never know when or where such movement of spirit will happen.  I guess I have learned to just take it as it comes and to appreciate the movement as it occurs.  Such appreciation is as fleeting as the movement itself, and nothing becomes more apparent then the futility of grasping such outward signs of love then when I find myself in the contented state of my inspired mind.

I was fortunate to be reading a friend’s posting on relationships, and in understanding the recent loss she had one could easily see the outward expressions of pain and the resulting eagerness she had to overcome the suffering her attachment to another created.  The ego works in crazy ways in this instant, with the action of blaming the other for her own suffering followed by the ignoring of the reaction she was having to the suffering followed by the pretense of indifference at the loss itself.  This observation got me wondering, what is this idea we have created about relationships and how does this idea correspond to the human condition?  This rather boring discussion I have been having with myself asks to be shared with others for reasons why I have not discovered (or created) yet.

I begin looking at this dynamic not in the dualistic way most of us see things, but through the eyes of a Being who sees things in three “dimensions”.  Utilizing this triad, one can see clearly the advent of suffering in one’s life.  We create the conditions by which we suffer in our attachment to something that is not real.  We create everything in our lives, from conditions that allow love or hate, joy or sadness, misery or happiness.  I don’t see us actually creating misery for example, I see us as knowing misery and then creating the conditions by which we experience misery.  The same can be said of any physical or mental reaction we have in this existence.

Since we create these conditions, we are the Creator.  In my remembrance of “Who I am”, I see me as the Creator experiencing Himself by knowing what I am not.  In order to experience happiness, I must first know sadness.  In order to experience misery, I must first know joy.  In order to experience Heaven I must first know Hell.  In order to experience Enlightenment I must first know suffering.  Now, I remember this quite clearly and my spirit tells me this is truth each time I am inspired while expanding on this truth with the realization that none of this is “bad”.  Sadness is not bad, happiness is not good.  Both are equally important to the spiritual being having the most human of experiences, which is our purpose in the first place.  Without the necessary sadness I could not have the purpose of experiencing either the sadness or the joy.  Therefore, that sadness is just as good as the happiness to the spirit, regardless of what the ego tells me is real.

This may appear to be a very dualistic approach, but I can’t see it that way as I study it in the very three dimensional way my spirit exists.  In approaching this in a manner of spirit, I see that three distinct areas exist in any human experience the spirit may have.  The spirit has no choice but to live in this “world of three”, for without that world (what we call the universe), the spirit cannot experience itself.  The three areas are: Creator, Creation, Experience.  Father, Son, Holy Spirit.  That Which Gives Rise To , That Which is Risen, That Which Is.  These three things, in whichever way you wish to describe them, exists in order the the Creator to experience Itself (creation) through Experience.  Experience is what exists as a condition of creation.  While this is not a new approach or definition, it is the way my spirit speaks to me when I am willing and able to listen.

In this idea we have called “relationships” it is important to note that I am speaking specifically about the human relationships we call “love”, but are really nothing of the sort for most of us.  For most of us, “loving relationships” are creations of our mind.  Our minds create the condition of “love” and the relationship is born.  Now of course this is not real love, we attach conditions to the condition by which we must continue in this relationship.  Each of us must be faithful, kind, considerate, truthful, and whatever other conditions we may place on each other in order for the relationship to qualify as “loving”.  We know deep down somewhere that True Love does not place such conditions on anything, in fact the act of being in True Love eliminates any conditions and therefore is not a condition unto itself.  Rather, our creation of the condition we call a “loving relationship” is very egoic in nature, so is never very permanent even in its longest durations.  Imagine the peace and harmony you would feel if you could just relinquish your demands for the existence of conditions you have placed on the loving relationship your ego created.  Imagine the lack of suffering you would entertain not only upon yourself, but on the one you believe you love.

Impossible, I know.  You could not tolerate a cheating partner.  You could not tolerate lies.  You could not tolerate the other person being who they are at that moment if that person did not fit your mold of an ideal partner.  You create in your relationship the necessary quid pro quo that all egoic relationship have.  You need something from them in order to give something of yourself or else the result is suffering and the experience of misery for both of you.  The other person suffers for having to pretend, you suffer for having created the condition by which pretending is necessary.  The roles we play are the swords we live by, and those of us who live by the sword will surely die from it.  Only True Love can heal the wounds that sword will surely inflict one day.

One must understand that all of this is necessary and therefore is not bad.  It is PERFECT.  The real question here is whether or not this experience will lead you to a better understanding of why you had it in the first place and of who you are.  That is the purpose of experience and of this illusion we call reality, so that you may determine who you are and find harmony in the existence you can create with this higher vision of yourself.  Life is not a process of discovery, it is a process of creation, and as we create our existence each time around, we are allowed unique insight and access to the voice within that is our guide.  The question is, are we looking and are we willing to listen?

I guess the idea of loving relationships is one we all hate to have.  They are painful at times.  Most of them end up hurting us in the most profound ways.  Yet each of these are opportunities for exploration and further creation.  The cycle of creation never ends; it begins in Love, exists in Love, and destroys itself in Love so that it can create anew.  You have created the condition of love from your spirit (Pure Love) so that you can have this great experience we call “life”.  It is the very act of in-spiraton.  Embrace it all, enjoy each moment, and find that glimpse of awareness that is born from the experience itself.  It is your purpose, and to that end there can be no higher.

©2010 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved ☮ ℓﻉﻻ٥ ツ


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