Today I seem to be led down the path of “confusion”. Over the last few weeks I have felt confused, and in my morning meditation I focused on the act of my confusion and what the effects of such confusion have been on my existence. As I laid still, the wrappings of confusion began to unravel, a process that continues with this writing. In fact, the process may actually be the cause I this writing.
As we walk down a long path, it seems quite normal to get disoriented from time to time. We look around us, and whichever thought our egos may give us at that moment we become fixated on. We assign the place where we are a judgment, and in that judgment create the place where we are at that moment. Perhaps that moment seems scary to us in ego, so the area around us becomes scary. Perhaps we judge it as beautiful, so the area becomes beauty. Perhaps we see it is hot or cold, wet or dry, dark or light. Whatever we see it as we create it to be, and as we create it to be it becomes.
To the mind that has seen a glimpse of Being the judgments created by our egos can be quite confusing. This seems to suggest that while we have a taste of Being on our palettes, we are still have an attachment to outcome. Ego may say “this place is miserable” while Being says “this place is perfect” and the resulting attachment to either creates confusion in us.
One of ego’s jobs is to get you to “forget” Being (that part of you that is God). It has the benefit of the instilled education we get from our parents and our society; our culture and our faith. Ego is a gift of Creation; the resulting attachment to it is a gift of our environment. Therefore, for many of us ego has a vast head start on Being, a head start to which many do not get a chance to overcome in one lifetime. It is no small wonder that we get confused when Being finally begins to “catch up”. We only know one way, have only lived one way, have only created in one way, and now a voice from within asks us to Be different.
We then taste that Being. We drink from its cup and we ask for more. Ego then does its job, and the cup becomes dirty, or the Source tainted, or the taste bitter. Yet, the cup is at is always was, allowing us to make of it whatever we choose, and allowing the taste to be of our own Creation. What is needed now is focus, the will to see the cup as it is, and to allow the voice of ego to be without the attachment to create for us what it instructs. Is the cup dirty? Is the Source tainted? Is the taste bitter? The answer doesn’t really matter if we have no attachment to it.
The key to Knowing then, it would appear to these open eyes, is non-attachment to EVERYTHING. Then days become neither good nor bad, happy nor sad, full nor empty. Ego will continue its purpose. It will still whisper in your ear and pull the strings of your mind, but when you are not attached to its calls you need heed none of its demands. Ego will then become frustrated as it is on the days when you now feel “confused”, although with your lack of attachment you will no longer own such confusion. You will be free…
Such is the call of Being in me now. I have heard it, and in such knowing will have the experience. I will be free.
©2010 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved ☮ ℓﻉﻻ٥ ツ