I, the Creator

Today I created.  I created the value I placed on the dream I had last night.  I created the way I felt when I woke up as “great”.  I created my desires for the day (“I must train”, I must have a good day of work”, “I must eat well”).  I created the measures of success or failures in reaching those desires, and in the process created success or failure.  I created a perspective that water was “too hot” this morning in the shower, and in the process created what was hot.  I stubbed my toe on the door into my bedroom and created pain, and then the judgment that pain was bad.

In essence, I am the Creator.  As I gazed upon my wife this morning, I thought “there is the most beautiful woman ever created.”  Then, with my head half-cocked at my seemingly benign words, it dawned on me that my wife was not created beautiful, she was just created until I created her as beautiful.  I saw the sunrise as as I hiked my normal trail through the residential maze of homes I have created as “my neighborhood” and said to myself, “…what a beautiful miracle this is.”  I half chuckled as I realized that it was not created a miracle at all except by me in what I wish it to be.

I learned of the death of a loved one once and thought “how sad”.  In the indomitable spirit of conversation I have with self, I then asked “is it really?”  What gives us the ability to judge the death of anyone as sad?  In my experience, death is only sad for those still in this existence (what we erroneously sometimes call “the living”), so who exactly was I sad for?  During that pain I subjected myself to, through the tears and wails of sadness that echoed in my mind and out into the world, I came to realize something.  This death is NOT sad.  I am sad not because of the death itself, but because of the ATTACHMENT to that I thought of as “him”.  “He” is gone forever as I knew him, and that attachment drove me to such pains as to effect all around me.  At that moment, the moment I let go of the attachment (which seems to me to be what the 5 stages of grief are…the process of “letting go” of the attachment) I was then able to feel the joy “his” soul must have felt in its passing.

I had not only created “him”, I created my attachment to “him”, I created my suffering in not having “him”, and I created the conditions by which joy could allow itself to be in letting go of the attachment.  I created joy.  I am the Creator.

We all put ourselves in situations whether past, present, or future, where we create our universe.  Whether we want to or not, every situation we find ourselves in is of our own doing, and we create the situation and the condition by which we exist in that situation.  In those moments, we are faced with a choice: do I recognize myself as the creator of this moment and therefore created it in my own image or do I unconsciously allow my ego to create it for me so that I have someone else to blame?  Ownership of such responsibility is a daunting thing, one many are nor ready to take, but man the beauty one can find in exercising their right to create!!

Of course I created that too…

©2010 Thomas P. Grasso All Rights Reserved ☮ ℓﻉﻻ٥ ツ

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