This question is beautiful in that it allows us to explore so many different things all in one meditation. As an American, we can certainly see how sexual energy’s connection to spirit has been removed from our culture. We have created sexual energy as sinful in most cases, and have packed it into a neat little box full of conditions but usually devoid of instruction. Many of us learn at a young age that what our bodies feel and desire is wrong and out of line with God’s will, and the resistance to this desire is in line with the spirit. The education itself often causes sex and spirit to be completely devoid of one another, leaving us to seek alternatives to replace the void created in the split.
In my experience, however, sexual energy is connected to us, the human Being, in more ways than most of us realize. Sex is part of who we are, as instinctive to us as breathing and as meaningful to us as prayer. Depending on our recognition of its source, sexual energy can be the most rewarding of actions or the cause of great guilt and suffering. For some, sex is an egoic function meant to temporarily satiate egoic desire, a desire that can never quite be filled in the ego’s mission for more and better. It becomes an addiction of sorts, where the identity is clouded by the need to replace a normal self-loathing with a feeling of superiority or of accomplishment. That feeling nearly never comes or, at the very least, proves to be very fleeting. This causes it to be repeated over and over again always with the same results.
I can only speak from my experience here. There are no degrees of Psychotherapy hanging on my walls, no certifications for sexual therapy to say I “know”. In this experience I have found the ego’s need for sexual satisfaction to be anti-climatic (no pun intended). I have felt the great tinge of need when the ego feels threatened, the call of the voices all stating that sexual satisfaction is the way to all satisfaction or as a means to regain control when afraid. They lie. Or at least they lie in the context that physical sexual satisfaction alone can satisfy or provide control. They do not. The voices are silenced for but a moment at climax, but usually return before your pants are back on to create in your mind all that caused you to look for satisfaction in this manner in the first place.
Then comes along the Spirit. It speaks to you in a much different way. When you are with a lover…no not a “booty call” or a “friend with benefits”…but an actual lover, the Spirit speaks to you in ways that magnify the feeling and the moment. The voices end, the fear fades, the need for control gives way to the need to accept. You “listen” not to a voice inside of you, but rather to all that is inside of you. Spirit, that which is Love Incarnate, becomes physically manifested through the action of sex. Spirit, the Creator, creates love through the process of making love; the physical manifestation of the Spirit’s desire to be Love through the conversion of sexual energy into the art of making love. In this, spiritual energy and sexual energy become one in the same, the molting of the mind, body and soul into One Being.
This is not to say that egoic sexual energy is not of Spirit. It is simply devoid of the recognition of Spirit in the act. The experiences I have had with egoic sex have brought forth a tremendous understanding of the act of Love. As a result, I have found that desire and needs in the act of Love are expressions of that Love. No fear, no guilt, no voices, just the action of converting the Love (energy) inside of me to something tangible in the physical universe. If you wish to experience it, just open your heart and close your thoughts.
©2009 Thomas P Grasso All Rights Reserved